The Television: A Poem

The Television

what is it exactly that it promises?

it's a comforting mistress, an unsatisfying whore, you give me what i want:

company

but what about need?

its voice floods my air

putting off the silence for a few more hours

oh silence

what a noise:

a reminder that no one is near you

a reminder that no one is thinking of you

no one is asking for your attention

your affection

your soul

there is no compassion here

no sharing

no laughter

solitude

just i,

only an i

and i've finally come to the place where that isn't much

is this humility?

suffering

insecurity

and a beer gut

and if i sit in the dark long enough 

and i let the silence surround me

if i give it time i'll get to the questions about god

disillusionment

maybe salvation

but it'll probably amount to nothing

so i watch the programs

i subject myself to the commercials

but even it doesn't care i'm here, 

it never said it did

 a window 

a glorious, bright, sexy

window

what a fantastic world

i'll never be invited to get any closer to...but lying here on the outside

lusting, wanting, loathing

is better

better than noticing this space that no one else desires to 

occupy